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Catnip Hostage Crisis

When I first saw the headline Family Calls 911 When Angry Fat Cat Holds Them Hostage all I could think of was, what were the demands and was this the first cat to not only be able to open cabinets with its paws but to hold a gun as well?

Then I thought maybe it was a headline in the Onion or maybe something splashed across the front of a tabloid in the grocery store checkout right next to the chewing gum, Soap Opera digest and a pound of now soft butter some lazy ass left there.

But then as I read on and listened to the 911 call (at the link above) I realized, no this was no parody or fake news story but was indeed the real story of a family who felt that their 22 pound Himalayan cat was going to kill them.

They were, apparently, actually held hostage by this rather large cat at claw-point who finally snapped on his adult and baby humans and if you listen to the 911 call will you hear that, thankfully, they had tea in their panic room if they were forced, as the 911 operator warned, to survive for some time and they were also thinking clear enough to save the dog. But they were indeed at the mercy of this monster in fur who wanted nothing more than to rip out their hearts and cover them with kitty litter should they make the mistake of trying to leave.

Surely this was one absolutely frightening situation “It’s only funny when it’s not happening to you,” said the wife “When this happens to you, I assure you, you will do the same thing” and on that I’m sure we would all agree. When facing such a scourge of feline that clearly wants you in Hell you, too, would lock yourself in the bedroom and possibly, as an extra precaution, even barricade the door with pillows and socks.

When all was done though it seemed as if the situation was resolved without any further violence or bloodshed. And for this, of course, we all say a small prayer of thanks to the Dad for his quick thinking and cool head throughout this awful ordeal.

I shudder to think of what may have happened had the Dad here not kept this situation from getting further out of control. What if this Hellbeast had turned his attention next to the neighbor’s to finally extract his revenge for being sprayed with the hose while taking time in their flower bed the summer before?

I just got a cold chill….

– thanks to Buzzfeed

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