Sunday With An Old Monster
So do you live, or have you ever lived in a house with one of those old air conditioner wall units the size of a barn and as heavy as a horse or two in it? You know, the ones that are so huge it looks like they just floated in space while the house was built around it. It usually came with your home when your parents, or you bought it and magically worked for quite some time, long enough for you to forget about the eventual nightmare that this monstrosity the size of a barn and as heavy as that horse or two in it would become.
When it does die though, it dies hard, and gives up the ghost in a slow freon float last gurgle and shudder…usually on the ground where you’ve let it fall after jumping out of the way for fear of your life or at least a trip to the Emergency Room.
When I was younger we had one of these in the house that my parents had a bought a few years before. This house also had a magical stone wall at the end of back yard. More to that in a sec. Well, our monster air conditioner did indeed die and would need to go away. After somehow wrestling it out of the window in the dining room (I was only about 14 at the time) my dad and I made the slow walk around to the back of the house and across the lawn all the way to the end. This is where the ‘magical’ stone wall came into play.
You see my father was of the belief that if you threw anything over this rock wall it disappeared, magically, to a place know only as ‘Oosoom” or the Land of ‘Out of sight out of mind.’
This was also the first time I had ever said the F-word in front of my dad after a miscommunication in the tossing of the AC over the magic wall resulted in the front left corner of the thing dragging right across my chest. The immediate awkward, scared silence and stern look was followed with my dad laughing his ass off. Thanks dad. It was a relief but then I remembered I was bleeding.
I revisited this memory this weekend with my Maria’s dad, Mr. Greco. Not the cursing part but the part of dealing with the monster that is an old AC unit, what looks like a circa 70’s Fedders. And when it comes to a monster? It took her dad and I two and a half hours to just get the thing and the huge wall sleeve out of the window replete with the jumping out of the way and that freon death gurgle I mentioned up top.
It was then another two and a half hours, including a trip to Home Depot, of putting in one that was bought and framing it out as best as possible (this last 2 and a half hours was mostly Maria’s dad with me holding things or handing him stuff). It’s still a bit of an eyesore for the moment but there is more to do…for Maria’s dad while I hold more things and hand him more stuff.
Even though I was hurting last night and am today (I pulled a muscle in my upper back a couple of days before and this didn’t help) I’m glad that we were able to finally slay the monster. I also got to recall a fond memory of me and Dad. I’ll take that over some back pain any day.